Sunday, January 30, 2011

Done!

For me this National Championship will always be the feel good year.  Today we crowned Ryan Bradley as our National Champion!  He's the sweetest, kindest, funniest and most entertaining fellow.  I've never heard a bad word about him. 

The Spectacular was really fun.  We moved back down to the second row so we might even show up on TV.  Lots of great skating including Evan Lysacek, our Olympic Gold medalist, boy, has he gotten expressive.

My bags are packed and I'm ready to go.  Do I hear a song?

This week will be all about getting ready for the new gallery. I'm starting to get a bit nervous now about the amount of work I have to do before next Monday.  No hyperventilation allowed.  I'm moving outside my comfort zone but it will be good for me.

No worries, I'll get it done. Why are all the things that are good for me so hard?  Yikes!  Now I wish I had someone to hug me and tell me I can do it.  Personal pep talks are just not as helpful.  Send me a strong shoulder please, I could use it.

Peace

Final Day

One more day here in North Carolina.  One more Champion to make today.  Yesterday was a fine day for skating.  This is becoming the feel good Nationals.

In Pairs we have a new Champion Team - Caitlin Yankowskas and John Coughlin.  Their heartbreakingly beautiful skate to Ave Maria was dedicated to his mother who recently passed.  The emotion of that skate was so overwhelming I could not help but cry.

In Dance we have Meryl Davis and Charlie White, returning Champs who have captured our hearts with their intricate and beautiful dancing.

In Ladies we had a fine battle between three Champions, 2008 Mirai Nagasu, 2009 Alissa Czisny and 2010 Rachael Flatt.  Alissa knocked us out with her grace and beauty and seems to have conquered her demons.  She is a Champion well worth having.

Today is the Men's event.  Ryan Bradley in first after the short is my choice for Champion.  We shall see.

And tomorrow I head out to the airport and home.  This has been an incredible week.  I've loved seeing so much great skating.  I've had the opportunity to spend good quality time with a friend.  I've heard the music of southern voices and eaten some pretty decent food.

On the other hand I've done a hard separation from a sweet soul of a man.  I needed to move on. And again, when one door closes several more open up.  I continue to be amazed and pleased by the effects these fine people leave on my life. It truly is a learning process, usually something that I needed to learn to grow and mature as a human. Each person leaves a mark on my heart, some small and some large.  Love fills us, expands our hearts in painful ways but makes room there for more to enter.

“Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever.”


Who knows what the future holds?  Makes me smile just thinking about it.  I love rising each day to greet the day, smelling the first coffee, feeling the cold deck on my bare feet, hearing the hawks call as they ride the wind, feeling the beat of my heart as I walk those trails, loving fiercely, laughing hard, being thankful for it all.

Peace

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Two more days...

Oh, the bliss of sleeping well and now having coffee and the Country Music Channel on TV.

The excitement is building.  Today we crown National Champions in Pairs, Dance and Ladies.

Last night's Men's short program was great, with lots of really good skating.  The crowning moment was having Ryan Bradley pull out all the stops and rise to the top.  He's a crowd favorite and known to be a genuinely nice person.  And of course, landing a monster quad didn't hurt him any either.  I hope he wins the whole thing, he would be a Champion we could be proud of.  We have to wait until tomorrow to see.

And I'm so excited to get back home.  I've got some nice things to look forward to and a challenge or two, but I think I'm up for it.  I'm developing a sense of lightness that I hope continues to grow.  Spring is just around the corner which is sure to bring some fresh things for us all.

I've been searching out quotes lately, some make me laugh, some make me cry.  I just keep browsing until one catches my eye.

Here's a good one for today:

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”


I'd like to find a love like that. 

Happy Day to you and yours, love from me and mine.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Marathon Skating

One event down, one to go today.  Twelve hours of events tomorrow then two on Sunday and home on Monday.

I am completely enjoying every minute of this trip but come Monday I will be extremely happy to get back to the Sacramento airport.  I've been thinking how great it's going to be to fire up my Ace and head back up into the mountains.  My two fur faced friends will greet me leaping and barking and trying their short best to lick my face.  I'm going to pour a large glass of water (time to dry out) and stand out on my deck and just breathe in the quiet and the clear sweet air.

On Tuesday I'll take them for a really long walk, probably down to the Yuba River.  And then I will disappear into my studio for the next week.  I've gotten into an artist's coop in downtown Grass Valley and will be moving my jewelry in on the following Monday.  Lots to do in that week, it's going to be fun and productive. 

Life is good, there is a lot to look forward to, new places, new people, new experiences, it's good, walking through the fire is hard but can be done. 

Peace, sometimes we give it, sometimes we take it, sometimes we make it.

Quote for Friday

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”


Good morning world!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Downtown Greensboro

Wandered around downtown this morning.  It's very pretty and thankfully the bad weather has broken so today is sunny and warmish.

We found this wonderful little alley that had been turned into a work of art. I particularly liked that it coordinated well with my brown and blue clothing. :)  The gate was divine, I had to touch it.

I'm already on total people overload.  All the good events are coming up but it's all I can do to stay.  I love the up front seats but have to move up higher to get away from the crush of people.  Jeez, I'm turning into more of a hermit than I thought.  I can make it, really, I think...but four days in a stadium is my limit from here on out.

Peace

Quote for Thursday

“Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.”


For you, peace.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

National - Day Four

Well, only four more days to go after this and the Senior events are coming closer and closer. I'm finding that taking pics of Pairs and Dance is fun, they are always doing something interesting. I have only taken photos during the warm-up so far.

Brave little girls and very strong young men.

A death spiral.

This is a pic of a young man I know from the Eastern Iowa Figure Skating Club.  He's a great kid and I'm so glad he's doing so well.  They are in second after the Short Program.

So, Pairs and Dance today and right now we're getting ready to head back for the Junior Ladies Final Free Skate, which should be good.

I wish you Peace.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

On Loving

I've been thinking about love lately.  (Can you tell?) 

In my wild child, hippie chick youth I read Atlas Shrugged and Kahlil Gibran and all the Herman Hesse books and Anais Nin (great erotica).  I loved Kahlil Gibran.  Sometimes I'm not really sure what I think about love, it's a pretty confusing emotion, but I do like that his writings make you think hard and they are poetic and quite beautiful.  I believe any true romantic would appreciate the writing.

An exerpt:

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Pretty stuff, isn't it?

May your day be peaceful and your heart filled with love.

Quote for Tuesday

This cannot be more perfect, both for my life and for those who are competing this week.

I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.

Insert fall for fail and it's even better.

Peace

Nationals - Day Three

Just a photo from last night's Junior Ladies event.  Wow!  They were just fabulous.  The winner was a darling skater who is coached by John Nicks. 
My friend and I are continuing to solve the problems of the world, fueled by the usual liquid gold.

I've met so many lovely people, the accents are superb and everyone is gracious and kind.  We're making plans to hit the music scene sometime this week after a late night event.

Peace

Monday, January 24, 2011

Nationals - Day Two

Technical difficulties have kept me from posting actual Nationals pics and fun so I posted a couple of quotes instead.

But, I'm back and rolling. The competition is wonderful. The Novice level in all four disciplines, Singles Men, Singles Ladies, Dance and Pairs have gotten REALLY good and worth watching for sure.

I got a couple of decent ice dance pics today.
And this pic is the team who won the event.

And one more of a North Carolina sunset.

Right now I'm relaxing in my hotel room, drinking some JD and eating a brownie covered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce, some things are good for the soul, if not the body.  But what the heck, life is short, eat dessert first.

Seeing lots of people I know here, everyone looks good and seems to be enjoying themselves.  And I'm excited that I got invited to be on the team for Adult Nationals in April, only as an alternate but you never know what will happen.  That's in Salt Lake City which would be really fun, wish me luck as I'm missing my figure skating family.



Peace to you and yours.

Quote for Monday

"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Quote for the day

"I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."

North Carolina - Arrival

Laughter really is the best medicine. It was a long day yesterday but we are here.

I have this theory, which I'm sure is fueled by an exhausted brain, that airplanes don't actually move. I think its all a big Disneyland ride that covers up the secret of teleportation. Ha, think about that huh?

We met a very nice limo driver who has promised to take us to find some good blues music and the best Carolina bar-b-Que. This could be a fun week.

More later...

Peace

Friday, January 21, 2011

Two parts hopeful.

Two parts hopeful has risen to the surface today and has brought a good bit of happy with it too.

I've made the decision to choose me, finally.  I'm not going to live for anyone else.  I'm not going to wait for anyone else.  I've got to let go and move on.  It's tough but it's best for me.  I am angry with myself for spending so much time being confused and sad when there are so many people out there fighting for their lives and their jobs and their homes and their loved ones. I'm better than that.

It's nice to know there are other women out there who understand the things I write.  It makes me hopeful that we will be able to come together as friends and find our way to greater things.  We have to stop and remember how valuable we are, to ourselves and to others, but only if we know down deep inside our own worth.  I find when I connect to that sense of worth it becomes easy to make decisions, even the hard ones.

Here's to endings, to new beginnings, to self worth, to kindness, to friendship, to hope.

Peace

Thursday, January 20, 2011

A very fine day!

One month exactly.

Darkness and light with feathers of wishes anchored by warmth.

My best, always!

Two more days...

I'm not packing yet but I'm thinking about it.  The important things are arranged, tomorrow I'll toss everything that fits into my suitcase and be done with it.

On Saturday morning bright and early I board my plane to North Carolina for the United States Figure Skating Championships in Greensboro.

 Of course it will take me 11 hours to actually get there by the time I leave my house to arrival, oh goodie!  The great thing is that I'm meeting a very good friend.  We first met at Nationals in St. Louis and for the first time we're going to spend the whole week sitting next to each other doing our best bitchy fashion police routine.  I can hardly wait.

One of the things I miss terribly about living out here is good girlfriend company.  I much prefer the company of men, you know, cars, guns, outdoors, scratchy faces (!)   I've never had a lot of girlfriends but those that I do are the old and best friend variety, the ones you may not see for three years but you pick up right where you left off, laughing.  And this will be one of those meetings, sharp and intuitive dialog, wicked barbs, endless chuckling and guess what, she likes Jack Daniels too!

I'm always sad to leave my home when I travel but once I'm in my car I'm happy for my adventure to start.  (Which reminds me, gotta take my Swiss Army knife out of my purse, this one is special.)

Happy Day to You!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I love the smell of gun oil in the morning.

Or in the evening as the case may be.

Growing up with my Dad meant you starting shooting cans in the desert as soon as you could reliably hold the firearm.  And if you happened to be a tomboy sort you were all the more welcome on those shooting expeditions.  I still remember the first time I got to shoot a .45, it was better than the dance I never got invited to, who needed that mushy crap anyway?

Dad gave me my first rifle when I turned 16.  I still have it and can shoot a squirrel out of a tree at 25 yards.  A year or so ago I re-discovered how much I liked to shoot but the last year has been sort of traumatic, dramatic and too damned busy so I haven't had a chance to get back into it.

Tonight I started a Basic Marksmanship class at the local shooting range.  I loved every minute of it.  Except for military shooting I don't have much experience with indoor ranges so I took the class to learn the rules and protocol.  I found that the people there are very nice.  I love the concept of shooting, the precision, control and concentration needed to be good.  I also like the idea of competing against both myself and others.  This is going to be fun.

(And ladies, the place is crawling with men.)

Full moon tonight, the goddess shines, peaceful dreams to you.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Brave and independent...

You know, sometimes if you act with intention it can become reality.  I act brave and independent because I need to be and sometimes I almost fool myself.

But don't we all do that? Am I the only one who puts on a front in hope that it will become reality?  Probably not.

The truth is, out of 10,  I'm four parts happy, two parts lonely, two parts hopeful, one part uncertain and one part scared to death.  I'm not always entirely certain which parts will rise to the top.  It all depends on the happenings of the day.

I can't be any more honest than that.  How about you?

Pax

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sad...

Do you ever feel like you're dancing around disaster?

On my way to the market tonight a road I frequent was closed due to an accident. It scared me and when I got home I was overwhelmed by a great sadness.

Where it came from I don't know. I've lost friends to bad accidents and had close family members involved in terrible crashes that could have been fatal but somehow weren't.

Each of us has experienced a loss of some sort.  Each of us carries pain, it becomes part of our internal landscape, a dark valley we try not to walk through.  Sometimes the sunny ridge crumbles beneath our feet and we find ourselves falling down into the valley of tears.

I think it's ok to be sad sometimes.  To cry for things lost, for people we miss, to honor the sacrifices others have made for us, to feel deeply that there is no sunshine without shadow, that a great love can be lost, that no matter how sweet the day it can be shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

I can't make the sadness go away.  I can try to walk through it.  It hurts but it's real and goes hand in hand with joy and love.
Tomorrow will be better.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Mid January Gift

Well, I have to admit that here in Northern California days like this are not the norm.  Most usually we'd have rain and cooler temps.  But today was a perfect gift of a day, temps in the 60's, sunny, no breeze, it hardly gets any better this time of year.

So I gave myself the day.  My goal was to spend almost all day outside.  Started with a walk way down on the Independence Trail, to Rush Creek and beyond, maybe 3 or 4 miles.
We are greening up nicely now that the rainy season has started.
The flume at Rush Creek, normally you can walk down the ramps but they have it blocked off because they get tired of fishing fools out of the river, or what's left of them.
Standing on a cliff taking this shot, those who know me well can imagine my body language.
Coming back up, this time I leashed Bode up, he was thinking of leaping up to the top of the wooden sides on the flume walk, THAT would have been a disaster.

On the way home I glanced at Bode, his face was sporting at least four ticks, on the way home I picked them off him at stop lights and tossed them out the window, eeeeewwwww.

At home I gave the car a good bath, first time in a couple of months, pretty Ace.
And now it's sunset on the deck.
Long walk - Check
Wash car - Check
Large glass of, um, not wine on the deck - Check
All day outside - Check

May your day be filled with love and laughter.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Laughing...

Ever had one of those mornings?
Sweet sunrises and laughing so hard you can't stop, over cream cheese frosting and chocolate sauce?

What a way to start a day!

May your day be so blessed.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

A sunset and studio fun...(As of 5:00 pm)

Oh, last night was just beautiful outside the treehouse.
And today is raining but we walked anyway, brave Dandy slogging along, ears down, looking sort of pissed and grumpy.  And Bode, laughing, charging through puddles and into any dirty, muddy patches he can find, a true working dog.

I'm starting some studio work again, got most of it cleaned up and have been wasting metal for a few days.  Sometimes I just have to sit down and tinker a bit, which means a pile of ruined sheet silver and a twisted pile of wire.  It's all reclaimable but costs money.  I could play with some copper but it doesn't feel the same.

Instead I'm going to do some resin work, this is a piece I made to donate to an art auction.  It's called "I've Been Everywhere", has maps on the front and the words to the Johnny Cash song on the back.  It might be posted here someplace but maybe not.
Here's my beginning pile of goodies.  I look for old books, this is a book of Poetry Erotica and who the hell knows just what they're saying.  It pains me to destroy books so I look for torn up, moldy, musty books, those almost ready for the trash, makes me feel a little better.
More later, got to run some errands....

I use Ice Resin, which is a product I learned about from Susan Lenart Kazmer, an incredible artist.  Find it by searching her name or objectsandelements.com.  I'm doing the preliminary pours for some jewelry and some sentimental ornaments I like to make.  I've copied some pics onto parchment paper, collected various things like plastic bags to protect the table, sponges, and the stir sticks and cups that come with the Ice Resin.

I've got a gram scale, helps to keep the proportions of the resin exactly equal.  You can also eyeball it.
There is a ton of info out there on Ice Resin so I'll keep it simple.  Mix it up, stir it for several minutes, let it sit for five minutes, pour.

I poured a couple of batches to check my ink for colorfastness, these will dry to tacky by tomorrow and then I'll be able to think about the next step.  This pic is sort of blurry, probably had my camera set on close up, oops.


Peace

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Cool, clear water...

I've been feeling a little ragged around the edges.  Which usually means it's time to find some water.  I took the boys down to the Yuba River at Bridgeport.
It's a long way down.  I want to be right on that beach across the way, with a sleeping bag and a fire.
This is the path back up, I like up more than down.  I don't want to fall when I'm alone, no phone service here.
Bode is so glad someone turned the faucet on so he can wade along the path.
This is dry in the summer, I imagine there is a pool at the top.
This video gives you an idea of how noisy it is, it's so beautiful.

Water fascinates me.  It's essential to our bodies.  It soothes and lulls, the slap of water against the side of a boat is incredibly calming.  But it's terrible too, never safe, unceasing, able to move boulders, grind rock to sand, wear down walls of stone and smash unlucky boats into scrap.

Peaceful day to you and yours.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Hibernate?

My name is Suzanne and I'm an adrenaline junkie.

I think it's this time of the year.  There isn't always much sun and when it is sunny it's pretty cool, not much fun to sit out on the deck and soak it up.

All the fun things are over, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday, all done, drat.  I like having things to look forward to and when that fails I think this is a good time of year for long hours of lazy, how should I say this, interaction.  Cold days go with hot fires and the sweet rest and renewal of winter that leads to the fresh burst of spring energy and vitality.

I am heading out to the East coast in 12 days, leaving the boys with their beloved and very capable house sitter.  Until then I'm going to finish cleaning up my studio and start playing around with some new ideas.  I'll listen to lots of music and look for stars on cold nights and early mornings.  I'll dream a little.

And if all else fails I'll curl up on the couch with my big wool blanket, listen to some beautiful music, sip some tea, invite a dog onto my lap, open a good book and dream away by the fire.  (Sweet love....)

Peace

Pretty

I love this kid, she's got beauty and brains and she's not afraid to sidestep the perils of her age group.
Of course I love her mother too, good kids have to come from someplace, huh?

Peace

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Deeply content

My heart is so deeply happy.  My finger are having a difficult time but that's the JD, it's funny.  I may be half gone with  drink and general exhaustion but my mind is sharp.  I've got Patty Griffin singing, a nice piece of carrot cake and one last glass with a couple of ice cubes left. The kitchen is clean, the house is set to right so tomorrow morning I get to wake up to the usual neat and tidy.

All my dreams for today came true.  I surrounded myself with people I love and who love me.  We ate, we drank, we talked and laughed and managed to find similarities in our differences.   What an great group of people, the conversations were all quite interesting - the man who makes cars go fast interacted with the man who spends his life convincing people to slow down, the artists looked for common ground and inspirational collaboration and everyone, young and old shared stories and chairs with humor and sweetness.

It's sad to send my friends and loved ones out into the cold night.  I wish I could keep them all with me but I know they have responsibilities of their own.

Thanks to you all, it couldn't have been a better day.

Good night, sleep well.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

A day to look forward to....

Garlic, bell peppers, onions, jalapenos, cumin, oregano, black beans, mole sauce.....my house smells amazingly good.  I think it's going to taste as good as it smells too.  And if not, f**k it, I'll order some pizza.

The important thing is going to be the company anyway.  I'm so happy to have my friends and family coming to celebrate with me tomorrow.

It's my 54th birthday but that's just the smallest part of the things I want to celebrate.

It's a year of endings and beginnings.  This time last year I was sad and sick in both mind and body.  I had lost my joy and thought it was lost forever.

I remember that I went to a Blues concert that night and sat there and just loved every minute of that music.  I spent the next few months mostly by myself, walking and sitting by the fireplace, dogs in my lap.  I knew that I had to do something to save my life and that it wouldn't be easy.

The whole process was infinitely more painful that I could have ever imagined.  When I finally got back here in late July I began to write about what I was feeling.  It's all written down here.

I'm entering my sixth month of my new life.  Words fail me now.  They cannot begin to describe how incredibly happy I am.  That my life is filled with such a feeling of contentment, of light and loving, of laughter and peace.  I've begun to surround myself with people of such goodness that just knowing I get to see them makes my heart brighter and lighter. They fill that space that yearns for understanding, for compassion and for love.

Sometimes we talk about love, sometimes we talk about football, sometimes we don't talk at all. It's all the same to us, we know that the essential message is the same.  These are not traditional relationships, there is no ownership implied, no ties except for that deep need to connect, to be seen, to be appreciated as a fine human being.

Tomorrow I will stand surrounded by those I love.  I will hear their voices, their words and laughter.  I will see the light in their eyes.  I will feel their hugs and strong hands.  I will know that I am undeniably surrounded by people who love me and whom I love in return.  There is nothing left to ask for, it's enough.

A peaceful night to you.

Fun night!

I actually went to a bar.  And it was pretty cool.  It seems my friend R is a musician, a bass player to be exact, which is pretty cool because my son is also a bass player.

I kind of like getting dressed up and heading out into the night, might have to do that again.

And a random pic of my son I snitched from his social media site, love that boy!
Of course, it would have been more fun with my own dance partner but it's a start.

Today I'm going to be cooking madly for a gathering tomorrow at my house.  Family, friends old and new, it's going to be a blast!

Peace.

Friday, January 07, 2011

It's a great day!

The sun is shining for the fourth day and the air is cold and crisp.  I've been leaving the door open to clear out the house a little while I do some major dog hair eradication.

All is good. I'm happy and settled with my current friendships and am looking forward to finding someone special just for me.  My happiness seems to attract attention, it's like I'm sending out a beacon of light for someone to follow home.

I feel like Julia Roberts in the movie Runaway Bride.  She finally sits down and figures out just what kind of eggs she likes and what she really needs.  Well, I've always know what kind of eggs I like but there are a few things I've found out.

* I'd rather have Jack Daniels than wine or beer.
*I like country music, sprinkled liberally with Blues, Gospel, Reggae and Rock.
*I like men with facial hair.
*I like people that work with their hands.
*I like cooking for my friends, having a houseful of laughing, talking people is a great joy for me.
*I like people who are willing to accept me as I am.
*When I accept people as they are I learn so much more.
*I don't want dogs on my bed.
*I need to let people know how sensitive my heart really is.
*Anything can change from day to day.

More to come...

May your day be filled with love and laughter.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Stuck in my head

Sweet love, sweet love
Trapped in your love
I’ve opened up, unsure I can trust
My heart and I were buried in dust
Free me, free us
You’re all I need when I’m holding you tight
If you walk away I will suffer tonight
I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to you
So much, so young
I’ve faced on my own
Walls I built up became my home
I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us
Sweet love, so pure
I catch my breath with just one beating heart
And I brace myself, please don’t tear this apart
I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to
Suddenly the moment’s here
I embrace my fears
All that I have been carrying all these years
Do I risk it all
Come this far just to fall, fall
Oh, I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains
And finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am,
Ooh, I am
I’m bound to you
(I loved the movie and this song is so beautiful it makes me cry.)
Peace

Me and Mine...

As always my life continues to take strange twists and turns. I'm learning to just roll along with them and see where they take me.  Nothing is an ending anymore, everything opens new doors, new emotions, new securities, new, new, new.  I think it's my attitude.  I find it easier to accept when something isn't working.  The people involved all seem to eager to do the right thing, probably because there is so much love and caring involved.

It's good.  I can't wait to see what each day brings.

I'm also really happy to have opportunities to explore love in it's different forms.  I believe that love has no bounds and no limits.  I believe that love expands to fill the spaces between us and in us.  I'm so grateful for the chance to love my people - my family, my friends, my adopted family members and my dogs.


They are all mine and I am theirs.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Monday, January 03, 2011

More from the weekend...

I really like the Beachcomber in Fort Bragg.  It's practically right on the beach and this time we got a really great room upstairs with some fabulous views.

This is Friday, New Years Eve, low tide.  I did take my shoes off, walked on the beach, froze my toes, loved every minute of it.  This is pretty much our view of the beach.
Overnight the surf really kicked up and for the rest of the weekend we watched some huge ocean waves, with some whale sprays out in the deep.  It was magical all around.

This is from the right of the motel, out on the headland.
And a little inspiration for my jewelry designs.
What a great piece of equipment. I love the links.

Peaceful night to you and yours.

Vision Realized

From crude sketch:
To final prototype:
Detail:
I mostly love it.  The concept is excellent, the proportion and general design are good, the actual execution is decent.  It's a dream on the neck and the wow factor is pretty darned good.  But as a prototype it's got a few design challenges that need to be changed. It's sellable and wearable right now but the next pieces will be even better.

 The original was meant to have the three layers attached at the top.  That changed to securing the three layers by rivets and ended with the final of the three layers separated by sterling tube so they became very 3D.  However, because I changed design on the fly I had to work with relatively thin layers of metal.  Further designs like this will change to much heavier sheet, which will make the riveting easier and more stable.  I had to add some stabilizing pieces on a few pieces, the thin fine silver just wasn't up to the stress of the design.

But it's pretty sturdy right now, though the rivets tend to make the backs a little scratchy, which will be easier to deal with in future editions.

I like the direction this took me.  I've already got a ton of new ideas from it, which is a great thing.  

But for right now my feet are freezing so tomorrow morning I'll do the final finishing touches on this piece, clean up my studio and start again.

Peace

Work

Enough fun, back to work, which is fun too!  I'm a lucky woman.

Taking a break to let my finger stop bleeding, drove a nice piece of sharp 14 gauge into my index finger, drat!

This piece is changing.  While I was thinking about rivets I pulled out some tubing and then got an idea to set the pieces apart with tubing.  Like so:

And the view from the side.  I'm a little worried about the strength of the riveting but we'll see, won't we?
I would make the layers much heavier in future pieces, maybe use sterling instead of fine silver.

Here's one of the top pieces with gold applied and after I put a LOS patina on them.  Pretty.
Well, done bleeding, back to work!

Peace

Sunday, January 02, 2011

New Year Recap

What an amazing year in every way.

 In 365 days I've recovered from a heart attack, mourned the death of a long and successful marriage, moved myself home to California, settled into a new life, made some new friends and missed many old ones, renewed my familial relationships, continued to work on my art and traveled a little.

I think the biggest changes have been within.  I've worked very hard at giving up controlling every situation.  I've started accepting my unique gifts. I've tried to find out what is really inside me.

It's certainly not been easy and it's certainly not over but I'm hoping that in the end I'll be a better person, a better friend, a better lover.

I'm really happy.  Sometimes I feel very settled, which is good.  Sometimes I feel really unsettled, which is also good.  To really experience life you've got to take both the easy and the hard.

This weekend I went to the coast and I had some great company.  Thanks D, this is for you...

Beautiful and stormy.

Peace to you and to those you love.