Thursday, March 31, 2011

Gallery Days

Today was my day to work at the Art Works Gallery in GV.  It's so much fun to meet new people.  Today is warm and sunny so we had the doors open, which meant the people watching was good and I actually got to hear what was going on outside.

After closing I wandered down the street to the Lucchesi winery tasting room, said hi to my friend there and tried both their Pinot Grigio and the Tempranillo, both lovely wines.  I also picked up my wine club member shipment and then I headed home to my furry boys.

BIG NEWS!  We have a contract on the house in Minnesota!  Woot!  Which means I'll have my lovely red Pottery Barn furniture here by the end of June.  And my floor lamps and my books and the remainder of my embarrassingly huge fiestware collection.

It also means I'm going to get serious about finding myself my own house.  I don't mind renting but I'm yearning to have my own place.  A place to paint in any color I feel like.  A place to plant my own flowers and see them grow.  A place to start making memories in my new life.

I believe in sending wishes out into the universe.  She will hear me and provide what she knows I need.  I think I need a smallish place that I can make beautiful, serene and sort of eclectic.  A place to fill with laughter and love, with bare feet on wood floors, lazy loving on hot nights, sunshine in the morning drinking coffee on the back patio, roses and jasmine and rosemary and sage, a place for the boys to be in the back yard, maybe a garage with a workshop upstairs, a wall of books, a woodstove for cold winter nights, a kitchen for cooking small intimate meals and sometimes big feasts, a place to drink wine and dance to music, a place to sit and listen, a place to grow and give whatever is needed to those I love, a place for my heart.

Is that too much to ask?

I don't think so, it's just enough.

Peaceful dreams and joy to you.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sunny day, chasing the clouds away

Yep, it's all good here on Sesame Street.

So much sunshine, so many things to do all of a sudden.  The car is clean and shiny inside and out.  We just got back from a three mile kick ass hike at the South Yuba, walking and talking with one of my best friends.

Life is good.  I'm heading down to Infineon this weekend to see my first classic car race.  This is also my chance to see one of my best friends in his element, what a cool thing that will be.  I hope I can get some nice pics of the cars, holy shit, Corvettes, Porsches, Mustangs and all the rest, can't wait.

My four legged best friends are tuckered out, good thing as I'm heading out for some fun.  The days and nights never end when the weather is good.  Soon I'll be sitting on my deck in the dark, sipping fine wine with friends, doesn't get any better than that.

Peace, contentment, laughter and sweet things to you from our very happy house.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Rainy day dogs

Well, it's getting to be nice here when it's only raining lightly.  So in desperation we headed out to play this morning, walked along the NID ditch, played some frisbee, squished some mud.

These pics show the boys personalities perfectly.  First, brave, rain hating Dandy.  He'll follow me to the end of the earth.  You can see how miserable he is.  "Please, can't we go in now?"
And then there is Bode, my mudder.  He's not only willing to tromp through rain, sleet, snow, mud, puddles, whatever, he doesn't even notice them.  It's all fun to him.  "Let's play, huh?"
My constant companions, playmates, bringers of smiles and laughter, cuddlers, foot warmers, great guys, both of them.  Love me, love my dogs...

Peace and smiles

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Make it stop...

I'm completely solar powered so this weather is really dragging me down.
Sinking slowly into madness, ha, ha, ha!
Well, not really but close.
Even the dogs are going stir crazy.
Just have to hang on until Monday, when it's supposed to be 70 degrees, forgot that warm feeling.

A lot of shooting at the Range did make me feel pretty good.  I'm hoping to improve my scores next Monday, bad weather canceled this week's league.

Flowers are starting to pop out on the trails, this should be a really pretty spring.  In the meantime, these photos from my garden in Minnesota.
Beverly Sills Iris
Waterbaby Poppy
Volunteer Columbine
Clematis

Well, that makes me feel much better, how about you?
I can't believe how much my mood is dictated by the weather.
Or how much my mood is dictated by others.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
A little of both I think.
Of course, my mood wears off on others too.
I especially love spreading a huge smile around on a gloomy day.
And sharing thoughts here and in emails and on the phone.
But, this is essentially a lonely life, good, but lonely.
I'm always looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
Some days it's worry, sadness, grief, loss, that sense of missing someone so much it's hard to catch my breath.
Some days it's sunlight, smiles, laughter, loving, knowing the sweetness of a special person, anticipating that first kiss, savoring the last.
It's all good, better to feel hard than not at all.
I want to be right in the middle of it.

Peace

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Opening Gambit

Not bad, not bad at all...

Thank you, sweet man, you made my day.

Peace

End of an era

I've never known a world without Elizabeth Taylor in it.  Her stunning features and incomparable eyes made the world a more beautiful place.  Her craft made us cry in National Velvet and continued through the years to delight us.  Her love of life, men and fabulous jewels will never again be equaled.  She may have stumbled occasionally but she was always classy.  Her greatest role was to play Elizabeth Taylor.

 "I call upon you to draw from the depths of your being — to prove that we are a human race, to prove that our love outweighs our need to hate, that our compassion is more compelling than our need to blame." Elizabeth Taylor - Acceptance speech for a Humanitarian award in 1993.

Rest in Peace

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Little rays of sunshine

The weather channel said we had three hours of sun so we headed straight down to the south Yuba.  There are closer places to hike but they stay muddy for several days after a good rain and the south Yuba at Bridgeport is sandy and dries out quickly.

We reversed the upper trail today, first hit the rocky mile to Lake Englebright, then up and up to the top overlooking the whole valley and down the steep switchbacks to the car, almost three miles, whew!

Here's the first rocky mile, see the boys patiently waiting?
Then the beautiful and very jade green lake.
And on the trip back UP the very steep hill, stopping to take pictures is a good excuse to catch my breathe.
And finally the lush green meadows at the top.
So now we're all tired and ready for a nap.  It was incredibly wonderful to get some sun off and on during our hike.  I would just stop, close my eyes and soak it all in, probably a good thing as we may have rain for the next five days.

Peace to you.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Song for the day...

Today was toenail trimming day for Dandy and Bode.  They are pretty mellow about it.  I use a dremel and just sand them short and smooth.  I always try to stay calm and happy when I'm doing their nails. I sing them a song while we're sanding and it's always the same song, one of the finest of the old songs, El Paso by Marty Robbins.
I got a lot done today.  It was a very strange weather day, rain, sun, hail and a a beautiful sunset followed by more rain, sigh...
We're lonely around here lately, missing our laughing friend, nights are the worst.

Peace to you from me and mine.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Rain Songs

How appropriate that Tom Petty is singing Louisiana Rain.  I went searching for that song to post here and found this excellent song, different but good.
I've already post Tina Turner's "I can't stand the rain" which is also one of my all time favorites.  But that one is sort of sad and I'm trying so hard not to get sucked up into that.  So here's the ultimate in rainy day songs:
How can you watch that and not smile?

I also took a picture of one of my personal pieces of jewelry.  My how-to for this was originally published in Step by Step Wire.  I think I might have to make a couple for sale, it always gets noticed. And maybe I'll show the process too.
I'm very happy when I get a comment on one of my posts here.  I can see that people are reading my blog but unless you post a comment I don't really know what you are thinking.  Think of it as a way to make this a little like a two way dialogue, though if you hate me and think I'm stupid I'll probably cry and then you'll have to live with that.

Luckily I think most people come back and read my posts because they like what I say or can find some meaning or because they just like the wandering photos or the jewelry, so that's ok.  I try to mix it up.  And if you can believe it I hold back quite a bit.  You can think of my words as the little waves that roll into shore, wetting your feet and sometimes bringing in a pretty shell.  The rest of me is the ocean, turbulent, never resting, ever changing, filled with life and strange things.

I think we're all like that.  We put out little tendrils but keep the real tender part of ourselves behind the thorns and the stickers.  Someone like me can feel what's vibrating inside you, your joy, your pain, your fears, your anger...and every so often I feel things so sweet it's hard to stay away.  Have you ever just knew you liked a person the first time you shook their hand?  It's like that. Everyone can do it, call it instinct, empathy, whatever, it just takes practice and finding a balance between iron doors to keep all those feelings out and being overloaded by too many feelings.

Enough introspection, time for some studio work.

Peace to you from me and mine

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Snow in March

Well, things got a little exciting yesterday.  I was working a shift at the Gallery and this started.
And it kept snowing and snowing and getting deeper and deeper.  Now, since I've spent many years driving in snow I wasn't worried.  The drive home was very slow, this was a wet, heavy, extremely slippery snow.  Lots of little cars should not have been on the road, they eventually got stranded in the middle of the hills everywhere.  It was pretty though.
Then I got a bit cocky and tried to make it up my driveway.  Well, this is the top of the driveway I didn't make it up, the carnage is below along with my truck.  The good news is I didn't roll it, the bad news is yet to be determined, the bumper at least, hopefully that's it.  I knew that sooner or later the driveway and I would get into it, the driveway won, I admit defeat.

So I came in, said hi to the boys, talked to a couple of sweet friends, heated up my vegetable pastie for dinner, drank two beers and went to bed.

Now out to shovel some muck and see if I can get the driveway cleared off.

Peace

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Pretties

I do manage to get some work done here and there.  Today I managed to get these bracelets hammered, finished and tumbled.  They are going to Jewels on the River in Wabasha, Minnesota.
We took a nice walk along the ditch this morning.  After which I worked in the studio, went and photographed a house for an out of state friend and then hit the Range for some practice.  I got my target pistol checked and adjusted for accuracy, seems to have worked.  The six in the 9 area were planned, so it turned out pretty well.
Life is good, though I'm worried about a couple of friends that mean a lot to me.  I'm practicing patience and hoping for the best.  Often we can do no more than love someone, appreciate them for what makes them so interesting and appealing and look forward to seeing them again.  I got attached without knowing it, but isn't that the way things go sometimes?

Peace

Consequences of disaster

It seems a small thing in comparison but I've noticed my sensitive, artistic friends are suffering.  It's been a bad week, a lot of my physical pain ended with the earthquake, but the mental pain started after that.

If you're the type who feels very connected to the earth or if you are sensitive to emotions then take good care of yourself and don't be surprised if you are hurting or feel unstable or unsettled.

We're also isolating ourselves, probably in an attempt to block out the pain.  But that's really a bad idea, we should be together, offering love and support, laughing and nurturing our souls.

Peace to you, and healing...

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

On guns and rain and men...

Raining hard this morning so I slept in, deep and warm in my wool blankets.  I see that I'm still on whatever time it is we left last week, crawling out of bed at 8:30 doesn't seem to bother the dogs much, it's only 7:30 to them but it makes me feel very lazy.  I've got plenty of little projects to work on and I'll probably bake some bread, how does Whole Wheat Molasses Bread sound?  It's good stuff.

Last night was my second night at shooting league and it went much better.  I shot a 172 on the first sequence and a 158 on the second sequence.  I didn't run out of time but still need to settle down a bit and that will improve even more.  We shoot the same series next week so I'll go practice once this week and see what happens.  I'm more comfortable because I know what to expect now and I just want everyone to get out of my way and let me shoot.  I love, love, love to shoot.  I love the feel of the firearm, that amazing piece of finely crafted machinery.  I love the smell of the range and seeing the spark of fire that comes out of the muzzles.  My sense of aesthetics is a bit offended by my holster set-up.  I think all gunbelts should be leather because I was raised admiring my Dad's gunbelt, all tooled leather, well oiled, creaking a bit like a good saddle.  Well, that's something I can keep my eye out for, first make sure I really like this, then look for leather.  I'd prefer a used set-up, well worn and loved would be heavenly.

Ah, then there are the men. I can't help but think that whatever happens is my fault, as much as I try to avoid that.  I know everyone has their demons and if they are dealing with demons and don't want my help then that's fine.  But tell me, ok?

I swore I would never be one of those women who refused to trust anyone because of their past interactions.  I thought you should get over it and move on and to some extent I still feel that way.  However, because I do become quite emotionally involved quickly I'm going to have to rethink things.  I can continue as long as I am able to maintain my personal sense of equilibrium.  Does it make me happy?  What is the disruption factor?  And the big question is if I knew now what would happen would I do it again?  I believe that you learn something from every interaction, that this path is chosen for us and when we choose with love, kindness, compassion and good will then we will continue on the right path.  So, yes, so far I'd meet them again, love them, need them, lose them, mourn them, but not forget them.

But here's the big question.  Would I take them back?  Knowing what I know now about how they choose to treat their women, would I place myself at their mercy again?  This requires me to dig down deep and see how I really feel.  And I find a few surprising things.  I'm a very primitive person, a thin veneer of civilization cloaks some really strong emotions.  And maybe it's not placing myself at their mercy, but do I think they'd be well served to be at mine?  In some instances no, I'd not be able to keep the anger at bay forever, so it's best not to go there.  In others I am merely curious, what's in there, can we get through the fences and the forest of pain to find the place of peace together?  Yeah, I think sometimes it's worth it.

When I stand on the ocean bluff or the mountain trail and open my heart to the one to ask for guidance I ask not for her to make him mine, but to guide me in treating him in such a way that will be good for both of us.  Would that they did the same.

Peace to you and yours from me and mine.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sleepy Sunday

Yesterday we took a different path down at the South Yuba.  It's called the Point Defiance Loop, goes up the hill in switchbacks and then sweeps down above and along Lake Englebright until it finally winds back to the covered bridge.  It's almost 3 miles and we did really great. Next time I'm bringing lunch to have down by the lake before tackling the last mile of scrambling around a very rocky path.  Here's a pretty view:
We earned our nap yesterday.  Last night I was too lazy to head out to find some fun so I curled up on the couch and worked on some earrings.  These are one of my favorite designs.  I wear a pair several times a week.  Now into the tumbler for some shine and then finish them up.

Oh, life is strange lately.  This time last year I was down to a couple of weeks before I had to go back to Minnesota and boy was I dreading it.  I knew down deep in my heart that I didn't belong there anymore but was trying to keep an open mind and heart.  And so I walked and thought and cried and mourned leaving this place that I love.  I noticed every budding rose and blooming daffodil and wished with all my heart that I could stay to see them burst into color.

But I did go back and I did make the decision to leave and return home, finally.  And now I am rewarded with not only the blooming daffodils but the flowering of friendships and relationships that to me are every bit as incredibly beautiful.  Sometimes it's hard.  I've stumbled many times and expect I will stumble many more in my search.  I don't know how to love halfway, it's all or nothing.  My brain kicks in occasionally to remind me of past mistakes and so there is a bit of tempering, but not much.  If my wild heart ever finds it's match then the rest is just details.

I'm starting to see that this season will be a celebration for me.  Instead of mourning I'm going to wake each day and be thankful that my year of hard work brought me to this point in time.  I feel like this spring will be so incredibly beautiful, soft and warm and fragrant.  The summer will be sun drenched, hot and burning with light, saturated with smells and tastes and the feel of cold river water on my skin.  This will be the season of sensuality for me, intense focus that brings all things into clarity.

Welcome to my world...

Peace

Friday, March 11, 2011

Disaster

My heart breaks for the people of Japan, massive earthquake, tsunami, unstable nuclear power plants.

Thanks to those who drop everything to go and help in places like New Zealand and Japan.

It's inspiring to see how the worst brings out the best.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

First Night

Well, my first night of shooting league was good and bad.

So here's the scenario.  I'm borrowing a pistol because mine has to be re-gripped to accommodate the speed loaders and while I have my own belt I'm also borrowing a holster to fit the borrowed pistol.  I haven't had much practice with speed loaders either.

In the first sequence we shoot 12 rounds at 7 yards.  The buzzer goes off and my brain goes off too. I'm just trying to remember to point the pistol in the right direction. I fumble around with the speed loader and while I shoot ok, I run out of time with two shots left, minus 20 points, ouch!  I remember to breathe as we are walking out of the range.....heart pounding, hands shaking, why am I doing this?

In the second sequence I have a misfire (a bullet that doesn't go boom when you pull the trigger) but I do better with the speed loader.  However, I have one zero shot which means my misfire is counted as a zero too, damn. I think I remembered to breathe at least once.

We discover that the misfire is caused by a slightly sticky trigger.  They caution me to pull it cleanly and release.  I'm like, "Yeah, right."

In the third sequence we shoot at a moving target and here I just lost it, had another misfire, didn't even get to my second six shots, get help from the Boss.

Ok, all done, get lots of encouragement and congratulations for finishing the night.  Feel pretty damn good even if it wasn't a stellar debut.  Set up a lesson for later in the week and it looks like I may be able to use my own pistol for next week.

Get home, drink a glass or two of wine and relax, finally get my shaking hands and pounding heart to settle down.  Decide it was one of the most fun things I've done in quite some time.  I can't wait for next week.  I know I'll do much better.

Peace

Monday, March 07, 2011

Independence Trail

Since it rained yesterday I knew today would be a great waterfall day on the Independence Trail (above Nevada City).  The trail itself was pretty soggy in places but ok and the waterfalls were gorgeous. Don't play this unless you need 40 some seconds of serenity.
And a couple of still pictures.  One of the waterfalls is just so perfect.
And a new photo of Rush Creek with lots of water.  Go back to January 15th to see the difference.  It was roaring today, awesome!
Good day to you!

Warrior's Heart

I made a lot of earrings yesterday and then this piece called out to be made.

I used to wear one similar to it which was the first of this series I ever made.  I gave it away to a friend who wanted it badly and have been waiting for just the right time to make a new one.  Jewelry worn frequently can begin to become a talisman of sorts, especially when worn by those in tune with their inner strengths.

A good man recently mentioned that he thought I had a warrior's heart.  I'm not quite sure what he meant completely but it did stick with me.  I know I am quick to anger, quick to love and view life with a fierce passion.  I will never submit but I will gladly follow one with strength and honor, and if there is no one to lead I will. My heart may be battered and bruised but it's forever solid.
What do you think?

Peace

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Foothills Celebration

Yesterday was such a fun day!  We had the Foothills Celebration in Grass Valley with over 30 wineries from all over the foothills and food and restaurant vendors who brought in samples of their finest.  At the Art Works Gallery we had Matteo's from Nevada City with pulled Pork sandwiches and chocolate mousse and Holley Hills winery from Placerville.

It was great fun to be there, some of the best people watching I've done for quite a while.  It's like a big party, everyone is friendly and happy, who wouldn't be?  I had so much fun meeting people and talking about my art and about the gallery.  I think a lot of people will be back to purchase things they saw and liked.
Just a quick photo of our street with lots of people and cars.  For more info on things happening in GV go to www.downtowngrassvalley.com  There's a car show the end of April, an art festival in May and in June the Farmers Market starts, every Thursday the street is closed off from 6-9pm for produce, music, food and people watching.

Peace to you and yours from me and mine.

Process - Fine Silver Earrings

I start from scratch with fine silver wire (16 gauge) and various mandrels, extremely high tech devices like dowel rods and knitting needles, pens, kitchen utensils, anything rigid and round. Be wise about spending your money, some things are worth the extra, some are not.
Winding the wire onto the mandrel.  I have a winder that works great for any mandrel up to about 1/2 inch, after that I have to wind it by hand, which is a little bit harder on my hands.
You end up with a nice coil of wire ready to cut into rings.  This is where it's worth spending the money for a great pair of ultra flush cutters.  BOTH ends of the ring have to be very flat so they butt up together.  You have to cut on side and then flip your pliers over to cut the other side, it's a spatial thing that eludes most people.
This is a not so great photo of fusing, a little difficult to do holding torch and phone/camera.  But you get the general idea of the pinkish color you get right before the ends melt and fuse together.  Don't be discouraged with this process.  It's all percentages, when you first start you may have 10% success, then slowly your success rate will improve.  I've done many thousands and I'm down to a 10% failure rate.  It happens, you lose concentration, the torch needs fuel, the ends aren't touching properly, whatever.
When fusing chain I'll fuse a bunch and then join two with a third.  Joining rings means you have to prop up the already joined rings so they don't touch the ring you are fusing, kind of tricky sometimes but not that hard.

These have been fused, tossed in a water bath to cool and are ready to shape and hammer.
Shaping with some nice pliers.  It's all practice and guesswork. And no I wouldn't make the shapes first and then fuse them.  Why put effort into something that may fail?  And the shapes make it difficult to get them fused, you want to push the heat up into the unfused ends.
And now for hammering, both sides get hammered for strength and to create facets in the metal that will catch the light.  These will all go into a tumbler for a final shine.  Bigger shapes are easier to hammer, smaller ones tend to be hard on my fingers, ouch.
If you are in the area and want a class on fusing fine silver I am available by appointment, just let me know.  My studio is a heavenly place filled with fun, but I warn you, you have to like dogs!

Peace

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Fun stuff...

This week I'm getting set up to start in a pistol shooting league next week.  I'm very excited.  I have to learn to use a holster and speed loaders and to shoot from different positions, around barriers, standing, kneeling, sitting and so on.  The people in the league are very friendly and I'm looking forward to interacting with them.

Yesterday I went to The Range and worked with one of their instructors.  He's a great guy, very patient and explains things very well.  I'll be using one of my Dad's old pistols, which makes it really special for me. I love learning new things and when it involves either cars, guns or animals I'm a very happy camper.

And...I'm starting a big production run of earrings and trying not to whine.  I much prefer building big heavy chain for bracelets or trying something new but I'm almost out of earrings and need to keep my stock up.  So I'll suck it up and get to work...tomorrow. Ha!

The rain and gloom of yesterday gave way to a really nice day today.  The day started well with breakfast with a friend who makes me laugh a lot and ended with a nice walk with the boys down the local irrigation ditch.  The turkeys are very active right now, we ran into a big troup of them being entertained by a tom turkey in full display, pretty and of course I didn't have my camera today, these are from a couple of days ago.

Peaceful dreams

I fall down, I get back up again...

I admit that things happen for a reason.  Was it fun?  Yes.  Was it right for me?  Probably not.  Does it hurt?  Yes. I have friends who think of me, call me, connect enough to let me know I'm not alone, it's so good.  And I've found a sort of surprising connection where I least expected it.  One of many things that are good for my soul.

Life moves on, so do I.  I need to stay in my mountains.  I need to stay connected with people with inventive and creative minds and with those who make me laugh.  I have to be who I am.

Peace

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Never halfway...

This is a tough one to write as there are many things about it either too personal or presently unresolved but it is having a great effect on my life so it's fair game here.

When I started looking around for a companion, friend, lover, partner in crime and general yin to my yang I had already thought long and hard about what kind of man I required.  Also, I've already met some amazing men and have learned more from them about what attracts me and perhaps more about what I really need.  As usual I brought a lot of past prejudices into the mix, like no golfers because I really felt uncomfortable in the whole country club scene and didn't want to deal with that again.  But then I thought that was maybe a little harsh, who cares if someone golfs as long as I don't have to go? And they do like the outdoors, which is one very important requirement for me.

I never made a list before and of course I never really thought out just what sort of person would be good for me in the long run.  This time I know more about me and I'm much more concerned about forming a partnership that will benefit each of us.

*I want someone who loves the outdoors, really loves the outdoors, needs to be outside in natural settings not to conquer the river or the mountain but to soak up everything it has to offer.
*Facial hair - this one is negotiable but I REALLY like to rub my cheek on a beard.
*Life's work - Not so much what you do but do you like doing it?  Is it your calling? Is it part of your life or does it run your life? There is nothing better for me than to be able to watch a man in his element, confident, passionate, aware, alive - it's quite appealing.
*Strong - I'm not a meek individual and I don't like feeling like I'm running things all the time.  I like men who naturally move in to take charge, those with confidence and self assurance.  These aren't bossy people or obnoxious braggarts but men who see what needs to be done and then they just do it.  I think it comes from someone who actually pays attention enough to know when they can help.
*No motorcycles please - I'm not gonna ride one and the whole leather pants and bandana thing is just too much for me.
*Children and/or animals - Having had or having either of these pretty much guarantees that you aren't a stranger to midnight bouts of intestinal distress, that you know how to soothe the sick and the sad, and loving a teenager or having to take your best friend on their last car ride means you can handle the hard stuff.
***Have time for us and be willing to make us the focus of why we do all the other things.

There are of course many more pretty important things but most of them are negotiable, these are my high points.

So I meet this man who has most of the above as well as an uncanny ability to make me feel very well taken care of in every way.  We have plenty of differences, he likes to tease me about my tendency to be over emotional but he has been working on communicating more.  I've got real concerns that there isn't room in his schedule for me.  And then there is the fact that he lives in the big city and I'm a mountain girl, which really isn't that huge as long as we commit to doing some traveling and truthfully, for a quality relationship I can give up a lot.  He captures my imagination completely, upends my comfortable existence and makes me stupid happy.

Then - nothing...no communication for three days...doesn't make sense to me either...

So I'm in this strange holding pattern, waiting for the brush-off, thinking maybe this is the brush-off, knowing this isn't what I would have expected from this very reasonable and stable individual, hoping he's not too busy with work to even care, hoping he's not sick, wishing I knew, not wanting to know...

So that's the short version of my life right now...wish I had been abducted by pirates.

Peace to you.