Monday, July 29, 2013

Squirreling Away

Oh man, I love to cook and preserve the summer bounty.

I have been looking for a good source of tart yellow plums and then my good friend Karel called and said she had a tree just loaded with plums and then she said the magic words, "I'd love to share!".

I discovered her old tree covered in these wonderful sweet and puckery tart plums and she was willing to share, so this is the result.

I really like making jelly, it's easier than jam which has to be stirred endlessly.  My attention span isn't that long and syrup is even easier.  Just think about the pancakes in the winter, or a tablespoon at the bottom of a glass of sparkling wine.

Today was a good day to stay busy.

A heartrending choice was made, one that I can understand in some ways but not in others.  I always say that every stumble, heartache and failure is a way to learn something, to walk away knowing more than we did before. I learned how sweet it is to be with someone I love completely and without reservation, pouring all of myself into that love, holding nothing back.  It's probably the first time I've really loved that way.  In that love I opened up to an incredible sweetness of being that I didn't know I had.  It feels good.  I'm gonna keep it.  I like myself more this way.

And today I learned that others see that and have responded to it.  I've been surrounded by love and affection and caring all day.  I see now that I can continue to love openly and without barriers.  That love comes back to surround you, hold you and lift you up.

I also believe greatly that things happen for a reason.  Maybe down the road things will change and a new door will open up. I'll be right there, ready to open that door, anticipating with everything I am that it's worth opening.


The Lake

I miss those star filled nights on the water, the slap of the waves against the boat, the croaking of the frogs and the call of the night birds.

I got to spend a wonderful night on a friend's houseboat this weekend.  We laughed and drank and I made some new friends.

Life is good, a few more fun things to happen and then I'm hitting the road.  I can't wait to see my children and my granddaughter.  I can't wait to wear my cowboy boots to Stubb's and see my son and his band Little Radar at their album release party on August 10th.  If you happen to be there, say Howdy, I'll be the tall one in the boots, smiling.

On the way out I'm planning on checking out Amarillo and Lubbock and Abilene, just to say I've been there.


Tuesday, July 23, 2013


I'm dirty and covered with burrs, the boys are wet, dirty, stinky and covered with burrs and we're quite happy, thank you very much.

This pretty little praying Mantis hopped a ride on my shoulder and then happily crawled up and down my arms until I could coax him onto a branch for a photo op.  I love these little critters, haven't seen one in a while.  I don't know why it's white, strange.

Do you ever feel like you did some growing up?  That all of a sudden you stretched yourself beyond where you were the day before?

Me, for sure.  I tend to run on auto pilot, just cruising at altitude, looking at the pretty clouds and feeling the silky air hold me up.  And then, oh shit, what's that?  All systems suddenly come to full alert and I have to turn my brain on to make some sort of a decision.  I'm best in a crisis, finding that I can zero in on what's really important.

Back to cruising again, now in a slightly different flight path but it's ok, the clouds are still pretty and the air is silky and smooth again.

Love does that to you, shakes you up, makes you realize what's truly important, sets you free to fly, and yet, reminds you where home really is once the day is done.  A couple of years ago I wrote a post about love and other things, this line is so true.  "In breaking her heart expands to hold love larger than she was."  This doesn't just happen once, but can happen often in our lives.  I try to remember this when my heart gets broken, that it now can hold more than before.


Monday, July 22, 2013

Road trip a comin'

I guess three years is my limit.  I've done some local traveling, three hours or less but no really long trips since I got out here, discounting flying.

So, I'm off on a road trip the first few days of August, heading to Texas and who knows where after that?  I do want to be home for my Dad's birthday on the 20th.

Once again I'm so grateful to have my charming housemate, who keeps the wheels turning even when I'm gone.

This baby girl is calling me, Grandma, Grandma, where are you?  My little Texan.


Sunday, July 21, 2013


Life is a strange and lovely thing.

As I sit here in my beautiful house, it's dark and cooling off enough to open the doors and windows.
The moon should be full tonight, lighting the woods in the forest outside my windows.
The boys are with me, Bode on the front porch, cool on the concrete; Dandy close to me on the couch.

Three years ago, tonight was my last night of my old life.  Consumed by packing and plans I left no time for grieving.  Instead I put all my efforts into making that transition, knowing that if I wanted to save my life I had to go.

I spent a lot of time grieving, once I was alone.  Crying with fear and loneliness but never doubting that my course was true and that ahead I would be whole and happy and life would be good.

It is good, no, it's great and I am whole and ready to share my life.


Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Thankful 2013

My thankful post from July 9th, 2012 surfaced today, how appropriate.

I started this day (way back at 2am) in what I would call a not so great state of mind.  Working late to occupy my mind I let a lot of fears and anxieties take over my mind and heart.  I drank a LOT of tequila and fell into bed after working really hard to spread those fears and anxieties around liberally.

And when I woke up I had something in one of my eyes and was a little heartsore as well.  The landscaping crew showed up and brought a truckload of mulch, 14 yards to be exact, wow.

Driveway blocked, eye hurting, I spent the day cleaning house and watching the progress of the backyard.  The job finished early and is beautiful.  Then off I went to the eye doc, who fished out several pieces of dark things that looked like the same color glass I was working on in the studio.  My eye hurt badly, no doubt exacerbated by my fear, my eyes and my hands are almost everything to me.

I got some sleep and woke up ok, feeling good, happy to have the backyard so serene and then got news so good I did a little happy dance in the backyard, think Ed Grimley female version.

Here's the thankful part.

I'm thankful for someone who loves me so fiercely that he's able to face my fears and show me what they are really about, which is love.

I am thankful for the medical services so readily available to me. Thankful that I won't lose my eyesight because of my passionate need to create beautiful things.

I'm continually thankful for that passionate nature, the one that moves me to make things and to push myself towards more.

I'm thankful for my family and friends new and old.

I'm thankful for my furry boys, who lean up against me when they know I'm sad and sometimes steal a kiss.

I'm thankful to be alive in this place where so many of my dreams have come true.

I'm thankful for you.

And for this transformation.

From this:

 To this -
Planting still to be done, as funds are available.  Now the deck is cradled in the backyard and way off in the corner you see the fountain.  I can be on the couch in the dark, listening to the water burble, star watching and dreaming of future things.

Peaceful dreams to you from me and the boys.

Monday, July 08, 2013

Mine, for now

I made myself a great pair of earrings, very similar to these.  I wore them for our Sierra Festival of Arts and the next week a customer came into the gallery and said, "I want the earrings Suzanne was wearing."  Well, how can you deny that?  I was sad to sell them but happy too.

So, this new batch of enamel work I made myself another pair, which I like even better.

I wonder how long I'll own these?

Here's a selfie in my Gallery.


Sunday, July 07, 2013

Beauties, Babies and Bands

I miss them so much.  Kirsten Ariel and Georgia Belle, my girls and my boy.

I muse on that, missing someone.  There are a lot of people I miss, plus a few so dear to my heart that missing becomes a constant backround ache.

My girls are in Florida now, continuing their bi-coastal life with Grandparents on both ends of the country and one lucky one in the middle with them.  G has been to Florida twice and California once and she's only six months old.  Fly on, baby girls!

Look like I'll be road tripping later on this month, heading to Minnesota and then to Texas.  Little Radar is having their album (Souvenirs) release party at Stubb's in Austin on August 10th.  I'm gonna be there.

Grant and GBelle say ya'll better be there too.

Little Radar


Saturday, July 06, 2013

For Him

My lover of all things cowboy...

Miss Kitty and Marshall Dillon -

What a pair, and look at the size of his gun.


For L.

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Writer's Block

I just can't seem to get an entry done and posted.  It's midnight and I'm going to force myself to sit and finish one short one.

Life is marvelous but writing about it is impossible.

There are emotions too powerful to share, laughter so long and hard my sides hurt, experiences so sweet and rich my head is spinning, love so deep and refreshing I can't stop smiling.

I'm feeling very Alive.

Things are happening, landscaping, travel plans, a studio tour and lots of jewelry in process right now.  I find that running a kiln at 1450 degrees F on a brutally hot day is a little strange but it's doable.

Pictures soon.

To bed, perchance to dream.