Monday, July 28, 2014

Four years!


Living is great!

Today is four years since my divorce was final. I'd been here in Grass Valley for just three days, exhausted, worn out yet excited to start a new life. I'm so glad I took that step into the huge unknown. It's not been easy but it is rewarding in so many ways.

I think the first two or even three years I was just wandering around in a fog. Slowly things have condensed and expanded, some things I can refine down to diamond bright, at the same time opening my heart to the big universe to join the flow of the unknown.


Sunday, July 20, 2014

I wonder...

...too, where the hell have I been?

This time of year is glorious for me. My gloomy late winter mood lifts and then expands wildly into the sky like fireworks.

I feel like a butterfly bursting from a cocoon,
I am the roses so big and fragrant way out on the ends of the thorny vines begging for their fragrance to be inhaled,
I am the plum tree limbs weighted down with sweet tart green globes of goodness,

I am the giant handfuls of basil that trail their scent as I walk through the farmers market,
I am the sun shining brilliantly on the water of the lake,
I am the incredible music that lifts me into bliss,

I am the birds splashing wildly in the fountain,

but not just frenetic energy,

I am the soft evening air that flows through my open window,
I am the cool water on my feet,
I am floating in the middle of the lake, listening,

I am absorbed in designing beautiful things in my head, while lounging on my deck couch,
I am looking at my Dad and Mom and so thankful to be able to do so,
I am sweetly held in the arms of a lover,
I am continuously thankful for the space I occupy, that place that belongs to me, to share with others, to surround my heart in peace and love and open my mental arms wide to the taking in and the spreading out.

And I am the mundane and the painful, trying to slow down to let my bruised and torn muscles heal, grieving the loss of a friend, missing my far away family, making plans to see them soon, cooking and arranging and happily playing in my studio.

It's all good, maybe a lot of work too, but worth it, always.


Friday, July 04, 2014

Fair winds and following seas...

Our arts community lost someone very dear to us today.

Fred Hodgson went on ahead much too early.

This wonderful, complicated man, clever, wickedly witty, loving, insightful, kind...he always had a smile and a ready laugh. He was generous with his talents and kept us on track when we wandered.

His partner of 30 years, Brad Carter, is left to grieve him, they were such a great couple.  They accomplished so many beautiful things and gave generously of their time to support local charities.

I'm gonna miss him and think of him and remember how short life can be.

I'll see you again my friend...but not yet.