Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Cruising through January...

Two weeks into my crazy odyssey of jobs and I think I've lost my mind.  Why did I think I could do all of this?

But I can, it's just an adjustment and it's much better for me not to have time to have the blues. This way I'm running on full speed and keeping up nicely so far.

The new job is much harder than I ever thought it could be.  The level of detail is extreme. I still get frustrated after a year at my plumbing job but they're happy with me so it's good.

My birthday weekend was lovely, heartfelt and filled with friends and family and him. Our reunion was incredible and sort of astonishing. I imagined some awkward moments, after all it had been almost two months, but there were none. I'm reminded that true friends don't notice the days or weeks or months between meetings, they just keep going like there was no break. Well, it was like that, so sweet and loving and full of laughing and happy I'm still smiling.

We did lots of talking and even when it was time to part we begged for just 15 more minutes.

It just seems different and it's good and that's enough.


Monday, January 05, 2015

January blues...

I've ripped apart my living room, gave away my couch, roamed an hour away to bring home a new recliner, moved furniture, cleaned both refrigerators, scrubbed and polished and dusted and raked and swept and found a home for an old bed cluttering up the garage.

I start a new job tomorrow, tax time help for my accountant. That plus my other part time job, the gallery and my jewelry business, four jobs.

And still I'm excruciatingly lonely, bouncing around my empty house, talking to my furry friends, putting things away, cleaning some more, wishing, wishing, wishing that I had some company.

I need a hug.

When I trained to be a CASA we talked quite a bit about the loss of one's home and the effect it has on a child.  I realized that I lost my home this time of year when I was in high school. I was sent to live with my Dad at Christmas and didn't even get to say good-bye to my friends. In retrospect it was a very positive move for me but it did have a great impact on my life. I feel once again the loss of my home every year about this time. Knowing that it's connected helps intellectually but not emotionally, the pain is still there.

I know it will pass and keeping busy is one way I've learned to deal with it. I need more physical exercise which is difficult lately, hip issues are increasing and likely will result in a hip replacement this year.

I'm lucky to have great friends who tease me and make me smile and laugh.

It's all good.


Thursday, January 01, 2015

First Day!

It's a bright and shiny New Year and I love it!

I really don't like having two blogs as I'd like to keep one place for everything.  The only solution I can see is to copy anything halfway personal, thoughtful or interesting from the website blog to this one.  That makes my heart happier.  Don't you love it when the right thing comes about and makes your day all bright and shiny?

There will be more added to most of these posts, watch me jump around between public and private, crazy time but what's new?

This time of year I find that I don't have a lot of energy for my studio but I'm still in there, mostly cleaning up the carnage from the last month or so.

There is planning going on too, an order list growing way too quickly and some new things percolating. We have a new jeweler in the Gallery and that always inspires me to push myself a little bit more.

I want to make big chunky silver rings, with fine pieces of turquoise.  I bought a beautiful ring for my daughter for Christmas from Durango Silver. All of their jewelry specifies where the turquoise came from and the name of the artist who made the piece. That's the way jewelry is supposed to be made, with fine materials and acknowledgment of the maker.

Whether they actually come to fruition I have not a clue. I realize that this time of year we're supposed to rest, bundle up and drink some tea and dream a little bit.

Do you have a particular time of year that you rest? A time you don't feel like creating? Or maybe you do but there isn't any mojo left after the holidays? I certainly don't have much left.

This time of year I tend to spend more time alone. The weather has been coolish...let's be reasonable, 30's and 40's is only coolish to the rest of the I don't get out as much. I think I used to love shoveling snow because it gave me something to do outside.  Now I rake leaves, fill up the yard waste container, putter around the yard and still get really cold.  Of course, I'm out there with a sweatshirt on, light gloves and no hat, figures.

I've been wearing my big new sheepskin coat when I go out, it's freaking heavenly and I'm so glad I splurged and bought it for myself.

I both relish and dislike my solitary hours, which would typically be filled with studio time but I'm not ready to pick up my pliers right now.

So, I'm restoring and thinking about spring and the things I hope to accomplish this year, personally, professionally and spiritually.

I'm looking at a hip replacement and disappointed with my body that it's failing me so early. However, maybe I failed it? But from what I hear it's a good thing, the recovery is fairly long but you get your life back with no pain.  I'm very freaking tired of having difficulty tying my shoe, limited mobility is sucky.

Peaceful dreams my friends.