Seems that it's easy to say you want to make time for your lover, that this time your relationship is more important than the day to day things. However, it's harder to actually do, or you forgot what you wrote in the beginning, or maybe you don't really care that much.
I don't know. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that my willingness to be a lesser part of anyone's life is limited. The hard part is knowing how good that relationship could have been and letting it go. To let go of a dream and to allow a passion to cool.
So today my mood will match the weather. I'll start up the fireplace, curl up with a blanket, drink some coffee and feel as grey and cold on the inside as it is on the outside. There's rain dripping down my windows and it seems to be inside too.
Tomorrow I'll shake it off and start again. Today is for grieving..