Party Night

It was grand and glorious!

On stage, Little Radar.

Signing a CD for a fan.

The next day, playing with the great black beastie Kaiser down at the river.  Here's the view.

Grant and Kaiser looking for tennis balls.

Me and my boy, loving the time we get to spend together.

I'm so lucky to have time with him, he's doing what he loves and works really hard at it.

Joy!

Austin Babe

We managed to slip away from the parents and go play in the backyard.  It was only 100 degrees so we stayed in the shade.  Even the chickens were hiding.

She's so incredibly photogenic and loves to pose and flirt with the camera.

I have to go out late at night if I want to see my Son, musicians tend to operate on a different time frame than the rest of the population.  So we hit 24 Diner at 10:30pm  last night and spent a couple of hours drinking, eating, talking and having some great Mom/Son time.  Only two more days until the big release party at Stubb's, we are very excited.

Smiles

The latest...

Just in case you think I've quit working.

These have just gone to the Gallery.  I also have some pretty ones traveling with me, you never know.  I love this design though it turned out to be a challenge.  My goal is to sell you a piece of jewelry that will last so I'm a bit hard on them in the design process.  These are all fine silver except for the ear wires and the jump rings.  The silver has been textured in my rolling mill, then the cups are shaped and enameled before they are joined together.  I'm still struggling with photographing the enamel but it's getting a little better.

Enjoy!

Silly Happy

Coffee and cuties.  She doesn't hold still much anymore but she likes the camera.

It was a good trip.  I don't know why I find these road trips so satisfying but I do.  I'm already planning my route back.  Where do I want to go?  What do I want to see?  And then home, of course, that wonderful place waiting for me with my two fur faces.

But until then we have a riot of fun, babies and projects, hanging out and talking, musical events, more hanging out, it's all good.

I'd like to live in the hill country here, northwest of here an hour or two.  Find me a Rancher, spend the rest of my days checking fences on horseback, who knows?  What am I gonna be when I grow up?  And who says I have to grow up?

Peace

Cadillac Ranch

This is great!  Thanks Susan for the suggestion.   Back on the road now, next stop Austin.

This and that...

I'm in Amarillo tonight, sitting on a big king sized bed in a decent hotel, sipping a glass of good crispy white wine.

What a trip so far, 1450 miles in two days.

I LOVE road trips.  It's been so long and truthfully, I almost canceled the trip the night before.  I was afraid. I haven't done this type of driving for three years, alone and on my own, and I was doubting that I could still do it.

Fuck it, I can and I love it.  Sometimes I listen too much to people.  Yes, I know they have legitimate concerns, things can happen, but so what.  I love it when people say, "You'll have a blast, but be safe."  That's enough of a reminder.

I needed this trip to happen.  I needed to remind myself of my competence and independence.  I also needed the vast amount of time to work through some things in my head.

I was caught in an emotional whirlpool, going around and around, getting more angry and more filled with contempt and hatred.  My heart hurt.

It actually took 1350 miles before it all came together.  This song started to play and there was a huge thunderstorm complete with great flashes of lightning and driving rain.

The Zac Brown Band - Quiet Your Mind (Sorry the good Youtube was pulled.)

I hear the waves
Sun beatin' down on my shoulders
It's a near-perfect day
Wishin' I wouldn't get any older
They say that it's gone 'fore you know it now

Quiet your mind
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride

I feel the change
Goin' on all around me
It's strange
How I'm taken and guided
Where I end up right where I'm needed to be

Quiet your mind
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride

At the end of the water
A red sun is risin'
And the stars are all goin' away
And if you're too busy talkin'
You're not busy listenin'
To hear what the land has to say

Quiet your mind

I hear the waves
Sun beatin' down on my shoulders
It's a near-perfect day
Wishin' I wouldn't get any older
They say that it's gone 'fore you know it and
Soak it all in
It's a game you can't win
Enjoy the ride

And all of a sudden I got it, that nudge to quit obsessing and to realize how insignificant I was in the great drama of the earth.  And my mind opened up along with my heart.  We can't make someone do what we want.  Everyone has their own path, their own reality and they have to follow their story.  Our stories often intersect,sometimes for a short time, sometimes for much longer.  The danger is to forget to live our own story, to submerge it in another's.

Do I want my story to be filled with anger, contempt, hatred and regret?  No, I don't.  I knew those emotions would be damaging to me in the long run but I wasn't sure how to push them away.  I'm not entirely successful yet but I can take a deep breath and see the right path to follow.

I have to let go of a lot.  There are dreams and hopes and longings that I have to just let go, let them fly off on their own.  To hold on to them keeps me from opening up to new dreams and new hopes, they actually clog up the intake valves.

I can throw open the doors and invite new things to come in.

Peaceful mind, peaceful dreams and a grateful heart.

Petrified Forest

It's stunning, worth the 40 mile sidetrack.

Ok, now I can shape this post up just a little.  I can do a quick post from my cell phone but have to wait to load up the pics from my better camera.

I loved this little detour, the park is really nice.  You can drive way up and do some good hiking but my time was limited so I didn't go too far.

I think this whole trip is about the sky.  I find myself staring up at the clouds all day.  It's been just incredible to see the changing sky over Arizona and New Mexico.

Colorado River

Arizona!

Tehachapi wind mills

Beautiful on the hillside.

Easy There, Steady Now...

Trying so hard to hold on
onto self
onto reason
turn my face away
towards the sun
light
laughter
doubting the so-called truths
questioning
was it all
a game
a frolic
gone wrong
one more hour
one more day
breathe
easy there
steady now.

Squirreling Away

Oh man, I love to cook and preserve the summer bounty.

I have been looking for a good source of tart yellow plums and then my good friend Karel called and said she had a tree just loaded with plums and then she said the magic words, "I'd love to share!".

I discovered her old tree covered in these wonderful sweet and puckery tart plums and she was willing to share, so this is the result.

I really like making jelly, it's easier than jam which has to be stirred endlessly.  My attention span isn't that long and syrup is even easier.  Just think about the pancakes in the winter, or a tablespoon at the bottom of a glass of sparkling wine.

Today was a good day to stay busy.

A heartrending choice was made, one that I can understand in some ways but not in others.  I always say that every stumble, heartache and failure is a way to learn something, to walk away knowing more than we did before. I learned how sweet it is to be with someone I love completely and without reservation, pouring all of myself into that love, holding nothing back.  It's probably the first time I've really loved that way.  In that love I opened up to an incredible sweetness of being that I didn't know I had.  It feels good.  I'm gonna keep it.  I like myself more this way.

And today I learned that others see that and have responded to it.  I've been surrounded by love and affection and caring all day.  I see now that I can continue to love openly and without barriers.  That love comes back to surround you, hold you and lift you up.

I also believe greatly that things happen for a reason.  Maybe down the road things will change and a new door will open up. I'll be right there, ready to open that door, anticipating with everything I am that it's worth opening.

Peace

The Lake

I miss those star filled nights on the water, the slap of the waves against the boat, the croaking of the frogs and the call of the night birds.

I got to spend a wonderful night on a friend's houseboat this weekend.  We laughed and drank and I made some new friends.

Life is good, a few more fun things to happen and then I'm hitting the road.  I can't wait to see my children and my granddaughter.  I can't wait to wear my cowboy boots to Stubb's and see my son and his band Little Radar at their album release party on August 10th.  If you happen to be there, say Howdy, I'll be the tall one in the boots, smiling.

On the way out I'm planning on checking out Amarillo and Lubbock and Abilene, just to say I've been there.

Peace

Hitchhiker

I'm dirty and covered with burrs, the boys are wet, dirty, stinky and covered with burrs and we're quite happy, thank you very much.

This pretty little praying Mantis hopped a ride on my shoulder and then happily crawled up and down my arms until I could coax him onto a branch for a photo op.  I love these little critters, haven't seen one in a while.  I don't know why it's white, strange.

Do you ever feel like you did some growing up?  That all of a sudden you stretched yourself beyond where you were the day before?

Me, for sure.  I tend to run on auto pilot, just cruising at altitude, looking at the pretty clouds and feeling the silky air hold me up.  And then, oh shit, what's that?  All systems suddenly come to full alert and I have to turn my brain on to make some sort of a decision.  I'm best in a crisis, finding that I can zero in on what's really important.

Back to cruising again, now in a slightly different flight path but it's ok, the clouds are still pretty and the air is silky and smooth again.

Love does that to you, shakes you up, makes you realize what's truly important, sets you free to fly, and yet, reminds you where home really is once the day is done.  A couple of years ago I wrote a post about love and other things, this line is so true.  "In breaking her heart expands to hold love larger than she was."  This doesn't just happen once, but can happen often in our lives.  I try to remember this when my heart gets broken, that it now can hold more than before.

Peace

Road trip a comin'

I guess three years is my limit.  I've done some local traveling, three hours or less but no really long trips since I got out here, discounting flying.

So, I'm off on a road trip the first few days of August, heading to Texas and who knows where after that?  I do want to be home for my Dad's birthday on the 20th.

Once again I'm so grateful to have my charming housemate, who keeps the wheels turning even when I'm gone.

This baby girl is calling me, Grandma, Grandma, where are you?  My little Texan.

Peace

Dandelion

Life is a strange and lovely thing.

As I sit here in my beautiful house, it's dark and cooling off enough to open the doors and windows.
The moon should be full tonight, lighting the woods in the forest outside my windows.
The boys are with me, Bode on the front porch, cool on the concrete; Dandy close to me on the couch.

Three years ago, tonight was my last night of my old life.  Consumed by packing and plans I left no time for grieving.  Instead I put all my efforts into making that transition, knowing that if I wanted to save my life I had to go.

I spent a lot of time grieving, once I was alone.  Crying with fear and loneliness but never doubting that my course was true and that ahead I would be whole and happy and life would be good.

It is good, no, it's great and I am whole and ready to share my life.

Peace

Thankful 2013

My thankful post from July 9th, 2012 surfaced today, how appropriate.

I started this day (way back at 2am) in what I would call a not so great state of mind.  Working late to occupy my mind I let a lot of fears and anxieties take over my mind and heart.  I drank a LOT of tequila and fell into bed after working really hard to spread those fears and anxieties around liberally.

And when I woke up I had something in one of my eyes and was a little heartsore as well.  The landscaping crew showed up and brought a truckload of mulch, 14 yards to be exact, wow.

Driveway blocked, eye hurting, I spent the day cleaning house and watching the progress of the backyard.  The job finished early and is beautiful.  Then off I went to the eye doc, who fished out several pieces of dark things that looked like the same color glass I was working on in the studio.  My eye hurt badly, no doubt exacerbated by my fear, my eyes and my hands are almost everything to me.

I got some sleep and woke up ok, feeling good, happy to have the backyard so serene and then got news so good I did a little happy dance in the backyard, think Ed Grimley female version.

Here's the thankful part.

I'm thankful for someone who loves me so fiercely that he's able to face my fears and show me what they are really about, which is love.

I am thankful for the medical services so readily available to me. Thankful that I won't lose my eyesight because of my passionate need to create beautiful things.

I'm continually thankful for that passionate nature, the one that moves me to make things and to push myself towards more.

I'm thankful for my family and friends new and old.

I'm thankful for my furry boys, who lean up against me when they know I'm sad and sometimes steal a kiss.

I'm thankful to be alive in this place where so many of my dreams have come true.

I'm thankful for you.

And for this transformation.

From this:

 To this -
Planting still to be done, as funds are available.  Now the deck is cradled in the backyard and way off in the corner you see the fountain.  I can be on the couch in the dark, listening to the water burble, star watching and dreaming of future things.

Peaceful dreams to you from me and the boys.

Mine, for now

I made myself a great pair of earrings, very similar to these.  I wore them for our Sierra Festival of Arts and the next week a customer came into the gallery and said, "I want the earrings Suzanne was wearing."  Well, how can you deny that?  I was sad to sell them but happy too.

So, this new batch of enamel work I made myself another pair, which I like even better.

I wonder how long I'll own these?

Here's a selfie in my Gallery.

Smiles

Beauties, Babies and Bands

I miss them so much.  Kirsten Ariel and Georgia Belle, my girls and my boy.

I muse on that, missing someone.  There are a lot of people I miss, plus a few so dear to my heart that missing becomes a constant backround ache.

My girls are in Florida now, continuing their bi-coastal life with Grandparents on both ends of the country and one lucky one in the middle with them.  G has been to Florida twice and California once and she's only six months old.  Fly on, baby girls!

Look like I'll be road tripping later on this month, heading to Minnesota and then to Texas.  Little Radar is having their album (Souvenirs) release party at Stubb's in Austin on August 10th.  I'm gonna be there.

Grant and GBelle say ya'll better be there too.

Little Radar

Peace

For Him

My lover of all things cowboy...

Miss Kitty and Marshall Dillon -

What a pair, and look at the size of his gun.

Laughing,

For L.

Writer's Block

I just can't seem to get an entry done and posted.  It's midnight and I'm going to force myself to sit and finish one short one.

Life is marvelous but writing about it is impossible.

There are emotions too powerful to share, laughter so long and hard my sides hurt, experiences so sweet and rich my head is spinning, love so deep and refreshing I can't stop smiling.

I'm feeling very Alive.

Things are happening, landscaping, travel plans, a studio tour and lots of jewelry in process right now.  I find that running a kiln at 1450 degrees F on a brutally hot day is a little strange but it's doable.

Pictures soon.

To bed, perchance to dream.

Enamel Bracelet Continued - Part 2

The placement is decided, holes are drilled, everything is filed and sanded to a satin finish.  Color will be added only to the round pieces, not sure exactly what color yet, probably blues and greens.

Lots of other pieces still to prepare, getting there slowly, life is too exciting lately so studio time is a bit lackadaisical.

Peace

Soggy

Something quite odd, water is dripping from the sky.

I've heard tell of this happening in other places but haven't experienced it here.

Oh wait, I remember, way back, what's it called?  Plain?  No.  Spain?  No.

RAIN!

It's just grand, even though the muddy footprints are back, I don't care.

It feels so good.  We're all feeling really snuggly.

Dandy is under the desk right here on my feet.

Bode, however is trying new sleeping positions in strange places.  Here he is trying to sleep with his head on the electrical strip, having shouldered the bass unit out of his way.  Now he's shifted so his head in on my feet.

Bode is a big dog, though short he's completely solid and 40 pounds, give or take 3.  He's got very warm fur though, my feet are happy if a bit squished.

Just a glimpse into my day.  

Peace

Solidarity

Yep, that's exactly what cooked carrots taste like.

Fresh carrots in everything but cooked carrots gag me too.  

Life has been a riot of fun lately.  I'm catching up after a lot of road miles.  

My studio is waiting, my Muse tapping her foot, threatening to take a vacation.  Right, she's not going anywhere with the stuff we have going, until it's done.  She changes her perches, sometimes on the flex shaft, dangling her feet; sometimes I can find her rolling around in the enamel powders, "This one, she says, this one next."   Why is a muse so often female? Especially since I can appreciate a bossy guy, shouldn't my muse be male?  

Just one of the many questions of the day.

I went to a free mini-workshop put on by an organization called HAI (Human Awareness Institute).  It was an interesting two hours in which a group of strangers became, not friends, but not strangers in those two hours.  As a closet introvert I'm usually drained by groups of people.  You'd probably never know it because I genuinely like people but afterwards I usually retreat to someplace to recharge.  I walked out of that room and found that I wasn't drained, that I had been given as much as had been offered.  I will eventually be taking one of their weekend workshops and look forward to experiencing all that they have to teach me.

Peace

Father's Day

The tables are set up and breakfast is in the oven.

The deck has become a wonderful part of life, socializing, dining, relaxing, napping, it's just perfect.

Today we're celebrating Father's Day.  I love having my family and friends gather at my house, it's a deeply satisfying feeling to see their smiling faces and have their voices light up the house.

After living far away for 20 some years I'm so glad I've come home.  I actually don't see my Dad as much as I'd like.  He's a very busy man, working on projects, hoping into their motorhome and wandering around, visiting with his friends but he still manages to find time to help me out or just stopping by for a cup of coffee.

I'm a lucky woman, finding myself with fine friends, family and relationships that are rich, varied and satisfying on so many different levels.

Peace

Process - Enamel Bracelet

I'm starting to work on a new piece that has been floating around in my head.

Here's the preliminary sketch.

And here's the beginning.

Like some of the earrings I've already done the rectangles will remain silver.  The rounds will be cupped and placed randomly but with perhaps a bit of wave.  I plan to cut out a slot in one to allow an enameled round to slide into it, making the bracelet design almost seamless.

Happy dreaming!

Me and the boys

Despite their best efforts at being cute Dandy and Bode haven't gotten much attention lately.

One or both of them will be squeezed under the desk in my studio as I work. Or lounging around my feet someplace during the day, under my bed at night, always there, always happy, just waiting for some fun.

Dandy waiting patiently for someone to notice him, maybe drop a cookie.  We call this face plant on toy.

Bode adored the baby, we think.  Or maybe he just thought we'd brought him a really active squeak toy.  He licked her feet and brought his own toys to her and once or twice I caught him heading out the door with her toys in his mouth.  He is the baby after all.

Dandy being regal.

Bode in his favorite spot, right next to the baby but about as close as we would let him.  GBelle did great with her first dogs.  They barked and she would jump but never showed any fear and pulling whiskers was fascinating.

Dandy doing his Yoga, upward facing dog.

I'm cutting big pieces of silver into small pieces, getting ready for another enamel marathon.  The hustle bustle has calmed down a little.  A few days to breathe before the landscapers come on Friday and start making some sense of my sad little backyard.  Add some dirt, contour the ground, move the water fountain, make a path, mulch heavily to keep down the dirt, should be interesting to watch.  I think the immediate best thing will be having the fountain functional again and watching the birds play in it from the deck.

I've been happy and yet, deep down I've got a case of the blues.  Nothing that can or should be fixed easily. I've had less patience for silly things that I normally would ignore.  Which makes it a good time to immerse myself in my studio  I'll make some pretty things, refine it all down to things I can control, like which color to use.  I scored a big box of vintage enamel powders and once I found out how awesome they were I ordered more.  Midnight anyone?

Peace my dear ones

Suz

No words...

Four generations

What fun that we are able to get a picture with four generations.  My Dad was in his 30's when he had me and I was in my 30's when I had her so it's a good thing she didn't wait until her 30's or we might have missed it.  Of course, my Dad is hale and hearty and will probably still be doing his thing into his 90's, may it be so.

And even though she's not directly related to us by blood, she is certainly related to us by love.  We are so lucky to have them both in our lives, we are richer for their love, counsel and encouragement.

They've gone back to Austin today.  I am bereft.   Even the boys seem subdued and a bit quiet, we all miss them.

Peace

Love and dirty diapers

So much love, this week has been a festival of love, a circus of laughing, a shopping cart filled with balloons and noisemakers.

This little one is so beautiful, but how can she be otherwise with a Mother like this?

I'm so lucky.

Peace

Golden

This is one of my new bracelets.  I feel like I'm finally getting some decent images.

This is a deep beautiful amber over fine silver textured with a riveting hammer, looks like rain on metal.

Enjoy!

They will be up on my website soon and available in the Gallery.

Eyes

She's got sparkles built into those eyes.

The light blue with the dark rings around, wow!

Peace