Connections

I've been on a major rant, haven't I?

Do I write more and better when I'm happy or when I'm not?  I've been sprinkling words on this page for two days now and keep starting and stopping, deleting and re-writing.

What do I really want to say?

I'd give up but there's something in my head that I need say.  Maybe I just really need to organize a feeling into thoughts.  Have you ever heard about people who think to speak vs. people who speak to think?  My Dad is a think to speak sort of person.  He'll cogitate on something for days and then the answer comes on fully formed, or at least his take on it.  I need to throw all my thoughts out onto a big invisible blackboard and then arrange them and re-arrange them in pretty groups and patterns until I get to a final product.  Often the end result isn't even on the board in the beginning.

I need people in my world.
People to listen to.
People who listen to me.
Someone to hug.
Laughing is good.
Bitching is always a plus.
Feedback.
Am I right?
Am I wrong?
Could I do better?  (Of course)
What's the right path?
Connections.
Someone who cares that I'm alive.
Someone who would know if I wasn't.
A cheering squad of one or many.
Sharing the joy.
Stretching minds.

Not feeling like I live in a black hole.
Spinning around weightless.
Nothing to bump into.
Words and thoughts disappear.

Simple human connection.

Well, I think I'll go and move some things around in the garage.
It's enough for now.

Peace